Well, the time has come to sit down with my thoughts and process some of the highs, lows, key moments, and lasting impressions of 2025. Leading up to this, I’ve taken my 25 for 2025 goals and written the following check-in posts:

Check-in #1

Check-in #2

Check-in #3

Check-in #4

Check-in #5

Those posts went granular with details and specifics, and today I want to go a bit more high-level and existential. I’ve got a note in my phone where I took down several reflection questions and have been jotting down thoughts and responses as I think of them.

Let’s do this:

What things have changed your life this year?

(1) Decreasing expectations of myself and others. I have worked to limit how much input, feedback, and unsolicited advice I offer in conversations and instead try to listen. I have tried to also quit working so hard to do and be for other people when I don’t sense the same commitment. I don’t mean that in an ugly way, but more of a self-preservation way. Often times, good enough is good enough and the other person never notices and I cut myself lots of slack I used to never cut myself.

(2) Regular journaling, writing, and record-keeping. I’ve continued my 90-day journal/planner, I’ve been more regular writing and posting here, I’ve kept up my 10 Good Things weekly on Instagram, and I’ve been doing a few short questions daily in the Michael Hyatt journal.

(3) Beach days and a spirit of solo adventure. In my midlife, soon-to-be-empty-nest era, I have decided that I don’t need to wait on the availability of other people to go see and do things I want to see and do. I spent the fall visiting four area beaches (and have two more to do in the spring before we move). I also proudly traveled to Hawaii alone and West Palm Beach for work. I attempted to book end some of our cabin visits with a few days alone.

(4) Effort relates to outcome for friendship. I spent the summer doing a little 90 day experiement where I recorded every friendship interaction (calls, coffee and lunch dates, walks) and it astounded me. I have a lot of direct control over how connected I feel toward others. The effort is always worth it. I also got into more regular sending of voice memos to a few close friends– some related to wellness goals, some more pep talks, and others just long-form chatting (Amy, Athena, and Meghan). This has turned out to be the very best thing! I have prioritized keeping regular phone connections with my mom, Meredith, and my friend Bethany.

What did you focus on this year, and did you actually focus on it?

(1) Being outside. We have no fence so our dogs require multiple outdoor potty breaks throughout a given 24-hour period. At first, I begrudged this since I’m home the most. But at the beginning of the year I decided to put a positive spin on this and see how much time I could spend outside. I bundle up with outer wear, grab my big umbrella, or dress for the heat and bugs and just GO. In addition to the countless hours I’m out with the dogs, I’ve also walked hundreds of miles, gone to lots of parks, and especially come to love a good starry dark early morning and a late evening glowing, pink and orange sunset.

(2) LEARNING. This was my One Little Word for the year and I feel like I actaully really blew this out of the water. Between all of the academic learning in my doctoral program, tons of new growth with my job, the reading, and general curiosity I have toward life, learning was a key component of my year. I will add, this did not feel forced or contrived. My number one Clifton Strength is Input so all of this tracks.

What challenges came up this year that were unexpected?

(1) Ryan’s schedule. This was not unexpected in that we knew from day one that our time here would involve a pretty high military operational tempo. No surprise there, the surprise was how I felt I did not adapt very well to all of the coming and going, changing intel, and frequent absence. Ryan’s brigade has been in a constant cycle of training. Field time. Leaders at NTC. Going to NTC. Not going to NTC. Now going to NTC. As of March his unit will be the IRF. Not only that but with his long commute, he has an early wakeup and a late evening arrival. Lots of time on the phone putting out fires. There’s been the national-news-making active shooter ordeal and lots of serious incidents that require his involvement. At our halfway point here, Ryan needed to take on senior chaplain duties as one of the chapels… all part of the job, but all made for a huge hurdle to feel like we had much routine, regularity, or rhythm here at home. This impacted my sleep locations and routines significantly.

What milestones did you try to reach or accomplish, and did you reach them?

(1) Professional. One of my biggest areas of focus for the year surrounded my job. I had several opportunities to contribute to special projects, two client trips, attended one professional development conference, and did some training on both AI platforms as well as within Qualtrics and Tableau. In July, I transitioned from being a contract worker over the past two years to a full-time employee and have felt immense satisfaction and joy in doing so. Not only am I happy to have job flexibility and fulfillment, I now also have a bit more permanence, a generous 401K, and unlimited growth potential for a company I both love and believe in.

(2) Cabin ownership. For almost eight years, Ryan and I have been actively saving, plotting, and planning for a way to invest in an away place for our family. In 2025, all of our hard work and dreaming finally came to fruition. We bought an old mountain-lake cabin, and it has been such a blessing to us already.

What habits did you work on or form this year?

(1) Finding ways to stay connected and embracing a season of transition as parents, as a couple, and as a person in midlife. I have tried to run many decisions, behaviors, and mindsets through this lens all year. I ask myself questions about will X,Y,Z serve me in this new season. Or I’ll think about how a successful person would navigate this by doing X,Y,Z? Additionally, despite lots of time apart for work-related things, Ryan and I are doing all we can to reimagine our next phase of parenthood, life, and marriage. In addition to our annual “Dream Meeting,” we recently discussed things we hope to be true of our relationship as we approach the Empty Nest and our 25-year marriage milestone. For example, after a brief moment of co-nagging, we-both-have-to-be-right-about-everything kerfuffle we had in the car with all three kids over Thanksgiving, we hit a reset because we DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT COUPLE that finds themselves always fussing about stupid stuff. We talked about how we can both improve our tone, words, and heart behind petty disagreements. We are a work in progress, and knowing this tendency can help us shape new habits.

(2) Daily movement. I’ve always been active, but kept the daily reminder that what you do everyday matters more than you do once in a while. This kept me moving my body inside– stretching, breathing, squatting, not sitting for too long; it kept me going to the Y most of the year; and it kept me outside doing a neighborhood walk (or often two and sometimes even three!) every day.

(3) Peace and contentment. This is something I gave focus to this year as well. This isn’t a reflection of other people, but mostly a reflection of a recent awareness of codependent behaviors in myself. I’m recognizing these tendencies and signs more and more clearly when I experience them. And I now feel like I have better tools to choose different responses when they pop up. This has impacted me positively in my own peace of mind, contentment, and lack of striving for other people to comply with what I want. I’ve significantly lowered my expectations of others. I’ve started prioritizing my own needs, care, and energy. I’ve been able to very quickly tell myself, “Not my monkey, not my circus,” and truly let things go this year. It’s very freeing and quite amazing how stuck I would stay in negativity, frustration, and exhaustion before.

(4) Reduced financial touchpoints and ease of maintenance. At the start of the year, one of my pain points was the daily management of our finances. So I put some actions and habits in place to engage with this and then feel a bit more whitespace surrounding it. I closed out and moved all of our accounts from Bank of America to Regions. Now everything (besides our investments and HYSA) is all housed under one login. I’ve hidden all of our kids’ savings and checking accounts from my view and automated their allowances as direct transfers. I investigated both Every Dollar Plus and Monarch (paid versions) just to see if there was another interface, dashboard, or feature that would make management easier, and after playing around in both, I decided that I’ll stick with the free Every Dollar. I also quit feeling the need to update things daily and now only check and reconcile on Mondays and Fridays.

What memories will you hold on to this year?

I have a lot in this category, and not all of them are just about me, so please indulge me a bit here.

Ryan: Perseverance in the face of a lot of simultaneous demands. Ryan’s work was a lot this year, and he handled it with a great outlook and aplomb, just as he always does. He also had a knee surgery this year.

Thomas: This fall kicked off his final year of college. He’s soaking it all up with his classes, his student teaching methods preparation, and Greek life at Lee. He’s been president of his club, the Beau of his sister club, and was the escort to this year’s Parade of Favorites winner.

Mae: This year, Mae moved into her first college apartment. She has been having so much fun having roommates, cooking, and doing all of the fun things I remember doing in college with my girlfriends, too. She’s brought home two or three intramural championship t-shirts, joined the TTU Engineering Ambassadors, is working one morning a week at her church, serving in her campus ministry, and most notably, started back playing on a worship team after a very long break.

Kate: This year, Kate has kicked off her senior year of high school. I’m so proud of her self-imposed rigor of taking four AP courses when she could have easily coasted. She’s continuing on in her deep involvement and leadership within her youth group as a Crew Leader. She turned 18 and is a legal adult. We visited her *one* college choice with both unofficial and official visits. She went all in and recently found out she’s been accepted. Kate also checked off one of her bucket list items: she held an alligator. Her work at the Ford Field and River Club is shaping her vocational interests, and it’s been fun to watch.

Claire: I will hold on to a lot of memories this year. There’s a big outdoor, beachy theme for me. In addition to my solo beach adventures, we had a great Roberson summer beach vacation near Destin. I will also hold onto memories of just going for it in a lot of areas of my life. I didn’t feel held back but felt it was a year of self and God empowerment. I’ll hold on to memories of the tension of loneliness, community, and friendship– in one way or another, it was always on my mind. There’s also the metaphor of our cabin that will be held tightly in my memories. Action. Adulthood. Saying yes. Adventure. Movement. Carrying things in and out. Riding the curvy roads to and from Murphy. Exploring. Happiness. Solitude. Connection. Simplicity. Contentment.

That’s a wrap on 2025! I hope you get some time to reflect upon your year as well. I am looking forward to all of the good, all of the unknown, and all of the adventure of 2026. Stay tuned!