payday

We had our first true spring day on Sunday. I spent over an hour walking in my neighborhood taking it all in. The vitamin D was needed and I got a kick out of seeing how many of my neighbors “celebrated” the great weather.

There were many other walkers, runners and joggers out. Other neighbors were mowing, weeding flower beds, cleaning gutters and a group of teenage girls was laying out in the sun in bikinis. It’s March and in the South, it might as well be summer.

I came in from my walk and as I was refilling my water bottle, my sweet seven year old came up to me and handed me this.

It made me smile and I hugged my girl tightly, thanked her immensely and just kept looking at this card of sweetness.

I lingered and realized just how much this says about Kate. Her little first grade effort at spelling, penmanship and punctuation; her heart illustration; her sweet little flower bouquet she picked for me; and her animal print craft tape. All in the same note, I’m Mommy and Mom; ever the tension in our relationship as Kate oscillates between little girl and growing young woman. Yep, every component of this love letter is my Katherine to a T. I’ll keep this note and cherish forever.

It’s no surprise that getting a random note filled with such meaning pretty much made my day. Far too often I get so wrapped up in keeping a schedule and calendar and list and plan book to make sure I’m hitting my benchmarks (both for personal goals and for “educating” our children) that I sometimes fail to remember that kind gestures like this are more indicative of who I hope my children become than any checklist or formal evaluation.

We’ve all said it a million times. “The days are long and the years are short.” There are times when I am silently, secretly longing for more time to do what I want to do. There are days I want to be left alone. There are days when I want to not have to think about who will eat what and when; when I want to not worry about getting other people half a dozen different places during the week.

I listen to whispers of the Enemy that tell me I am a martyr. I’m spending my moments, days and energy serving Ryan and our three children with abandon but at the cost of myself. I believe the lies that what I’m investing in now is fleeting and small and goes unnoticed by the world and some days by my family.

I fight an internal battle to believe the truth about what God has called me to today in favor of the deception that tomorrow’s work is more valuable…that what will happen next year or as my kids are older or as they can stay home alone will allow ME more of what I want/need.

I’m too often too busy looking ahead. I’m too often disrespecting today while I’m dreaming about tomorrow.

*****

Coming inside from my walk and being greeted with a response and recognition by my precious daughter was a good reminder to literally STOP and take time to smell the roses (or the purple weed flowers, as it were).

Today is a gift. All signs point to this truth. In my human flesh and weakness I get sidetracked and antsy and too far-sighted for my own good.

Here’s hoping that each of us remember how much we are loved by our people. Our little, faithful acts do not go unnoticed or unappreciated. God is very present in the small and mundane details of life.