(Disclaimer: This post is indulgently long to read. It might take you 20 or 30 minutes, maybe longer if you study the pictures. It took me days to write and years to live. This long-form reflection is my way of cataloging our family story and a way to revisit memories over time. Proceed with caution.)

Every time we leave a duty assignment, part of my closure involves writing a sentimental blogpost where I pour out my heart. I do this primarily as an act of healthy reflection and also for posterity so I can remember those details that are sure to fade with time and distance.

For the longest time, I called these posts, “Some Thoughts on Why Fort _________ is the Army’s Best Kept Secret.” Fort Bliss was a best kept secret because most people aren’t especially thrilled to be so far west, way out in the desert. Fort Gordon was a best kept secret because it was a tiny, sleepy post– a hidden gem. Fort Jackson (C4) was a short, but very sweet time. Fort Polk was a best kept secret because NO ONE expects Fort Polk to endear itself to you. My post there was a series of letters I wrote to myself, telling Claire what I wish she’d known before she got there. Fort Campbell was an easy post to write because it was Fort Campbell, the closest we’d live to home and a huge, vibrant installation.

It’s now December, nearly six months since we left Williamsburg and I am just now finding the time and space to deeply reflect on our two years there. I figured a Top Ten List would be a good way to continue the posterity-keeping of our duty stations and the documenting of our precious days.

In no particular order, below are my Top Ten Reasons Why Fort Eustis (Williamsburg) May Just Be One of My Favorite Places We’ve Ever Lived:

10. Ease of Life

Williamsburg, Virginia was an easy place to live. There’s just no other way to explain it. From the way the small town is laid out, to the high quality of every building, strict historical codes, its gentle approach to tourism, a sprawling historic public-Ivy college, the fun of Busch Gardens, to being in a highly affluent area, Williamsburg is special. The people and places there are of high caliber.

For nearly all of our Army life, we have been in truly southern places, and while Virginians *think* they are true Southerners, they are not. Williamsburg has been the northern-most place we have lived and while a part my heart is always in Tennessee, I really, really, loved all that Virginia, and Williamsburg in particular, afforded our family.

It wasn’t that those two years of life were without hardship or strain, but overall, our time there felt full of ease. Ryan had a decently long commute, but overall, his job demands weren’t crazy. He traveled about one week out of each month, but trips were enjoyable with his work colleagues. This time was fruitful and a great professional opportunity for him. The girls and I found our groove, and when Ryan was at home, he was home (IYKYK). Ryan was able to start and finish his ILE course and ORSLC which was a huge blessing!

(Oh hey there! Francis Duffy Award/Distinguished Honor Grad /#1 in his class.)

I am grateful for duty assignments like ours to Fort Eustis, especially following our Fort Campbell years full of pandemic insanity, losing my dad, and launching Thomas into his college years during a PCS summer. Honestly, when I think about the overarching theme of why Williamsburg felt like an easy place to live? In many ways it felt like we weren’t even in the Army and that felt easy, light, and enjoyable. 😅

09. Beauty of Surroundings

There is always a learning curve for assimilating into a new culture of a place and thankfully, this was a pretty smooth and positive one for us. Williamsburg is known as being part of the Historic Triangle. Everything there, and I mean everything, has Colonial vibes. There are rules about buildings, codes, and such. There is an intentionality, order, and beauty to the city; a unique charm to its intersection of modern antiquity.

Our doctor’s office had little Colonial candle sconces in all of the rooms. The Five Guys there had a second story with dormer windows. Trader Joe’s had Colonial columns at its entry. The Walmart Neighborhood Market had a Colonial facade. I often called it Colonial Walmartsburg. You’ve never seen more bricks and cobblestone in your life and tricorns don’t even phase you when you spot someone wearing one in public.

I still remember the first trip I made to Publix. I walked through the front doors with two people who had come from work in Colonial Williamsburg. They wore period clothing and looked like they’d just set foot on America’s soil back in the 1600s. I get no greater joy than seeing someone so sold-out to their job to be perpetually in character– the dedication! The tourism industry in Williamsburg is strong but you come to revere the backdrop of early American history.

(See what I did there? 🐎 🇺🇸 😉 🤭 )

I would also add that this is why the area is a true treasure trove when it comes to things people are getting rid of at thrift stores and on Facebook Marketplace. There are some serious antiques and stories behind a lot of great heirloom items. My absolute favorite (free) find and my now, deepest regret in getting rid of… my big blue buffet I scored in Richmond and rehabbed.

Since these historical things are so important in Williamsburg, there’s also a lot of strict rules about what kinds of businesses are allowed. I don’t recall seeing a building in the entire area taller than three stories– no high rises! Driving in and out of James City County there were gorgeous farms and land that had been lived on since our country’s earliest English settlers.

Unlike most every other place we have lived, Williamsburg-proper did not have any vaping or dispensary type stores, no strip clubs, payday lending businesses, casinos, or other salacious, vice-type establishments which are usually abundant right outside the gates of most military installations. Where there’s an absence of these type of places, the vibes are notably classier.

Additionally, in terms of beauty, Williamsburg offered scenic sights of the James River, gentle rolling hills, and some of the most colorful fall seasons full of vibrant leaves that stayed on the trees for weeks, as well as a beautiful, tiny downtown in Colonial Williamsburg alongside The College of William and Mary’s campus. We loved living in a true four-seasons area. You don’t realize how vital the visual and sensory cues of seasonal change are until you don’t have them.

Only a few miles from our house, we had a walking trail called the Greensprings Interpretive Trail. I would say nearly every week during the entire time we lived there, some number of us was walking that loop at least once or twice. We walked and rucked hundreds upon hundreds of miles in the beauty of the woods and water there. I have probably 50 pictures from the same spot on the bridge that crosses the marsh there. I love looking back on those from every season of the year as the trees, skies, and water changes.

08. Our Church

One of the next things I’d have to list as a Top 10 from Williamsburg was definitely our church, Williamsburg Community Chapel (WCC). After a stretch of almost 11 years serving exclusively in military chapels and making them our home church at Fort Bliss, Fort Gordon, Fort Jackson, Fort Polk, and Fort Campbell, it felt amazing to go to a traditional, non-chapel-church again, to simply be parishioners, and to be fed without doing all of the feeding.

Since Ryan was ahead of the kids and me arriving in Williamsburg by a few months, he scoped out the church scene. WCC was within a five minute drive from our house, had an active youth group, and the preaching was solid.

Over our two years there, we attended nearly every week and became close with a few staff members and pastors, namely, Hunter, Dale, and Elizabeth. While there, Kate and Mae participated in the WCC Student Ministries (SM) each week, attended retreats, and were active in their respective small groups. They also served a few times each month in Kids’ Ministry with Mae in the nursery and Kate in the K-2 or 3rd-5th grade children’s service.

Ryan made some close friends at the weekly Men’s Breakfast that he attended (and even led a few times) every Friday morning. Together we co-facilitated Financial Peace University with John and Lorriane twice and our last year there, we co-led a weekly Bible study for parents whose kids were at SM. As a family, we all volunteered both years for the Chapel’s Community of Faith Mission, an annual homeless shelter ministry hosted at our church during one of the coldest weeks of the winter.

I personally invested in WCC’s mentoring program and went through the four month process for personal spiritual discipleship. I was lucky to land not only a mentor, but also a great friend in Barb. Long after the official mentor/mentee session ended, we continued to meet a few times per month just to hang out and talk about family, work, books, and our faith.

My last year there, I was a MOPS (now MomCo) mentor mom where every other week I was the oldest mom at my table, trying to offer encouragement and love to young mamas!

The continuity of staff, the consistency of solid biblical preaching, the beauty of the musicians, choir, and praise team, the intentionality of an annual focus, the adherence to the church liturgical calendar, the deeply rooted community outreach, the decades of thriving ministry programs, the brick floored narthex, the amazing coffee station, and best of all the people there will never, ever, ever be forgotten.

07. Our Neighborhood

Like we have now done multiple times, we found our house online and rented it sight unseen. This is always a huge risk, but when you PCS with two dogs, your options of available properties in decent areas are strictly limited. Thankfully, we found a treasure in our Westover Ridge home! Ryan and I drove to the house for the first time from Fort Campbell in mid-February of 2022 to bring a trailer of some basic furniture for him to use the few months he’d be a geo-bachelor there.

When the kids and I joined him in May after Thomas’s high school graduation, along with our belongings, we quickly made the house feel like home. Our neighborhood was super convenient to our main patterns of life, within super close proximity to the girls school (Jamestown High), our church (WCC), and all of the great restaurants, stores, and shopping in the little Newtown area.

Again, after years of being on post and enjoying the convenience and community aspects of that opportunity, it was nice to be in a real house, with a full size garage, and some privacy again! I loved our house and our neighborhood. We quickly met several families on our street and eventually became close with a few families.

True to its Colonial surroundings, I loved the traditional style of our 30-year-old home. I adored its symmetrical windows, hardwood floors, tons of natural light, dedicated bedroom/bath combo over the garage for Thomas to enjoy when he was home from school, the other bedrooms all upstairs, a generously-sized primary bedroom with a wonderful seating area, a huge kitchen, and a nice fenced backyard for the pups.

We also had some special neighbors. Keith and Christian (and their kids) next door were always great to help us out and Lee and Laureen, our other next door neighbors where super friendly and hospitable.

Just down the street, my friend Rebekah was a fellow teacher and their family went to WCC with us. We walked some and had dinner with each others’ families a handful of times.

Some of our closest friends were also in the neighborhood one street over, Robb and Bethany. Our second summer there, Bethany and I became walking buddies and we walked religiously several mornings each week for an entire year. (Even now that I’ve moved, we do virtual walk-and-talks to keep it going!) What a Godsend to have a close friend to literally and figuratively walk with through our kids’ senior years of high school!

I also credit our neighborhood with many great solo walks, a beautiful pond view, and a great pool where I spent time sunning and participating in water aerobics. Mae, Kate, and I had some great times at the courts where we played a game we invented called Rage Tennis. Our neighborhood did Halloween right and the party planning committee always decorated the entryway with panache for every holiday.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t shout out the Greensprings West Facebook page that kept me consummately entertained with absolutely asinine and ridiculous drama. (The passive aggressive and often cowardly anonymous callouts about teen drivers, frequent dog misbehavior, the fake scarecrow wolves near the pond, and the Great Geese Massacre of 2024 were definitely highlights.)

06. Community Involvement

Another huge plus for our time in Williamsburg was community involvement. Not being super close to Fort Eustis and being far removed from typical military life rhythms of service, I had some time and energy to devote elsewhere. I love finding places to plug in that align with our family values of trying to leave a place better than we found it. (Not that we have anything special to offer and not that places aren’t great already, but we desire to jump in and do our part to contribute to the greater community good!)

The summer we arrived in 2022, I began the process of becoming a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) and by March of 2023 I had finally completed my training and my observational hours to get sworn in through the Commonwealth of Virginia in court.

Due to the length of the onboarding and the short duration of our duty assignment, I was only able to volunteer for one case that lasted over a year. I got a first hand glimpse into the foster care system, struggles of addiction, the unending hustle of social work, the sacrificial beauty of foster families, and shared in an amazing story of redemption. To say this experience made an impact on me is a gross understatement.

(Below is something I wrote that was featured in Colonial CASA’s Annual Report.)

At each duty assignment, I typically take on a passion project (Fort Bliss, being PWOC president and embarking on a homeschooling journey; Fort Gordon, writing a book and joining the DAR; Fort Polk, hosting an IF Table and launching an Enneagram course and podcast; Fort Campbell, retaking my Praxis tests and updating my Tennessee teaching license). At Fort Eustis, one of my passion projects was being a CASA.

I truly believe all of these little side interests, personal pursuits, and extra energy invested in doing things that light me up inside and help give back in the process, are things that add to the quality of our lives in each place.

You may never grasp what initially drew you to the project, or why it came into your life when it did, but in the end these endeavors make up the rich tapestry of learning more about yourself and the world around you. The investment is always worth the effort and I continue to enjoy the ripple effect of these connections and pursuits throughout my life.

05. Professional Clarity

Speaking of passion projects, I wanted to add another significant project here, under the heading of Professional Clarity. That is, during our second year in Williamsburg, I began a Ph.D program. I have held a long-time dream of pursuing a terminal degree in my field, and spring term (January) of 2024 as our time in Williamsburg was winding down felt like just the right time to start. 🤓 📚 💻 👩‍🎓

Since college, I have been a teacher in some capacity. This has mostly been paid, professional work in college classrooms and traditional school settings, but sometimes it has also looked like homeschooling our kids, facilitating women’s or adult Bible studies, teaching on the Enneagram, FPU classes, or any other variety of avenues.

Before we even arrived in Williamsburg, I did what I always do and I applied for countless jobs in my field, filled out hours of applications, submitted references, followed up with emails. (It’s always humbling with your level of education and expertise to see how far you’ll lower your standards of what you’d consider as a viable job.) Oh the joys of military spouse life! I was keeping a list and I believe the total number of jobs I applied to was somewhere near 15 before landing one at WCA.

During the 2022-23 AY, I worked the first semester of the school year as a reading interventionist at a small, private Christian school and the second semester as the school’s fifth grade teacher. I’ll say that I had sweet students, but the school had a lot of personnel, leadership, structural, and organizational struggles.

What I have finally come to realize is this: I do not fit in an elementary school setting. I tried it one year when we still lived in Chattanooga as a reading interventionist–back to the college classroom at UTC and EGSC after that. I tried it again at Fort Polk as a fourth grade teacher at FTCA– next assignment, back to APSU. I gave it one last try in Williamsburg at WCA. The third time’s the charm, and by charm, I mean, the third time is the nail in the coffin that solidifies that elementary schools are not my forte. ⚰️

You can be really, outwardly successful at something and not enjoy it or feel called to do it. I know the right things to do, the right way to teach and deliver information, the right way to make students feel loved, and the right way to make administrators admire the work I do. And yet, despite this, being an elementary teacher is soul-crushing work to me.

Can I fake it for a time? Yes. Can I look like a great elementary teacher? Yes. My personality isn’t built for the behavioral demands of young kids, the interpersonal demands of dealing with their parents, nor what I call the tape and scissors effect (aka, too much tactile preparation and too little thinking and concrete learning of concepts).

As the 2022-23 school year was winding down, I felt so frustrated by yet another school year that left me completely emotionally, physically, and mentally depleted. I don’t intentionally put myself into situations rife with drama and WCA had more than its share. Call it pandemic learning loss or a school without adequate support resources, but these sweet kids needed a lot more than I knew how to give them.

I felt upset that I just simply could not, in good consciousness, bring myself to return to that setting. It was taking a toll on my health and the emotionally heavy work of dealing with multiple children in abusive situations left me feeling helpless and kept me awake at night. I knew I needed a change and spent some time delving into that on a deeper level.

Our second year in Williamsburg, I also did some intermittent substitute teaching in the WJCC public schools just to get out of the house a few days here and there. In the year prior, I’d spent considerable time and resources to transfer my Tennessee teaching license to a Virginia license (even though WCA didn’t require it).

In the public school system, WJCC certified teachers earned $200 per day in sub pay. This was an easy yes as it was mostly enjoyable minus a few encounters that ended with offers for me to file a police report, emergent calls to school resource officers, nurses, and counselors, the mention of a gun in a student’s backpack, being verbally and physically threatened, school lockdowns, and having racially and sexually charged slurs hurled at me. Just living the dream! No biggie! 🙃

In April of 2023, as I inwardly limped to the finish line of that year at WCA, I had a wonderful opportunity come my way that perfectly aligns my strengths, passions, and love for higher education, professional writing, and military service members. Thanks to the professional generosity of a longtime friend and colleague, the stars aligned and the Lord provided me a viable exit from my teaching role. Better pay for far fewer hours and a fully remote position! Yes, please.

In 2023, I had something like six or seven W-2s and 1099s from all of my jobs and side hustles. Part of the year was spent at WCA, part with my new remote job, I substituted, and had 1099’s from three employers for writing gigs and one from Teachers Pay Teachers.

I have been doing my remote job with Virtual Veterans Communities since April of 2023 and heading into 2025, I will be taking on even more professional duties and responsibilities within my company. I love it and don’t see myself back inside a K-12 classroom. 🤓 🤝

The inner work I did to uncover my professional talents and interests, all of the clues and arrows pointing to the fulfillment I always experience teaching college students, my 15 years of writing experience, and my new VVC job was what spurred me on to start my doctoral program. It’s all coming together and I feel it pointing me toward what I hope and intend to do in post-army life. I hope to complete my degree program in Higher Education Administration and Educational Leadership by the end of 2027.

For now and the foreseeable future, I’ll skip the song and dance of applying to jobs at small, private schools, and I’ll continue to go all in on my remote higher ed job and my doctoral research! I’ll keep investing myself there, learning new skills and lessons, building my toolkit and network, and increasing my professional repertoire. 🙌 🤩

My little FTCA 4th grade goobers are high school sophomores now and my 5th grade WCA boogers are 7th graders. Lord be near and also, I love and miss those kids and cherish the imprint they made on my heart. As more distance grows between me and that crazy year at WCA, I do hope to try to mostly remember it fondly. 🤞 I take with me some key life lessons, including the gift of clarity it gave me on where and how I choose to invest myself professionally.

04. Proximity to D.C. and Travel to Other Great Places

Okay, shifting gears to a topic that’s a little lighter and brighter and less contemplative! 🤯

One of my favorite things about living in Williamsburg was the amazing trips we were able to take, including several quick jaunts to one of my favorite cities, Washington, D.C. I’d been three times before we lived in Virginia, but was so thrilled to have one of our country’s best cities just two hours down the road! First trip here! First family trip here! (Beware the jump scare! This was 2015 and 2017 or the Before Time when my hair was dark, dark brown!)

During our time in Williamsburg, our travel time back home to Tennessee could be anywhere from 9-11 hours depending on stops and traffic. However, we were just a quick drive to many cool places we hadn’t previously visited (or hadn’t visited in a while). Some highlights include:

2022:

Roberson’s on the River in TN, a family meetup with the Smiths, Fort Myers Beach (Roberson summer vacation), Tennessee trip to drop Thomas off at college at Lee University, a girls trip to D.C., Tennessee trip for my grandmother’s 90th birthday, Tennessee trip for Thanksgiving, and Tennessee trip for Christmas.

2023:

Greensboro, NC girls weekend with the Smiths, Hilton Head beach vacation with my mom and aunt, Cape Charles and the Eastern Shore of Virginia with Ryan, summer Tennessee trip, summer Hilton Head family beach vacation, college visit to Athens, GA, New York City with my mom and siblings, Shenandoah National Park with Mae, and Tennessee trip for Christmas.

2024:

Emerald Isle, NC girls weekend with the Smiths, Washington, D.C. for my Library of Congress library card, college visit at Clemson, SC, spring break trip to Tennessee, Pembroke, VA stop to see Mountain Lake Lodge (aka Kellerman’s from Dirty Dancing), Washington, D.C. with Bethany to the Museum of the Bible, Lewisburg, WV and Greenbrier Hotel with Ryan, and day trip to Monticello, Virginia (home of Thomas Jefferson).

One thing about me is that I’m going to keep the roads hot with my people, traveling to see my people, and exploring the new places all around me. (Honorable mentions included countless trips to Yorktown, Hampton Roads, Newport News, Richmond, riding the Jamestown Ferry, and other tiny Virginia towns nearby!)

I believe that taking advantage of traveling has got to be one of my core values and best ways to spend your dollars and your days as your resources allow. It’s also one of the best ways to wind up with a lot of shared memories and joy with people you love as a little retreat from your time spent living in a new-to-you place.

I am also incredibly grateful for those we love who made the trek, often multiple times to come and see us and visit.

03. Kindness of People

As I am rounding out this list about Williamsburg, my final three items on the list go a little deeper. As I ponder what that season of life really meant to me and what I am taking away from our time there, there were some great lessons.

One of those lessons was the absolute kindness and generosity of spirit that the people in our lives there showered upon us. It felt nice to be on the receiving end of this for a season of refreshment. I think it has taken me these six months away from Williamsburg to come to this conclusion.

As I have alluded to already, our two previous assignments at Fort Polk and Fort Campbell required a lot of us as a family. In ministry. In intensity. In the demands on Ryan. In proximity. In chapels. In our home. Providing community. Loving people. Feeding people. Leading people. Pouring out a lot of ourselves, almost to the point of emptiness at times.

This is our calling. This is what we do. We do it obediently and although physically and spiritually tiresome at times, we feel a deep joy and gladness with this fulfilling work. When we arrived in Williamsburg, we instantly knew that this season would be a time of refreshment for our weary souls. God knew even before we did that this would be so necessary.

So how did this season of replenishment play out? Well, it came through the love and kindness of other people surrounding us. It came through friendships. Through people in our church. Through people in our neighborhood. Through people at our jobs. Through the teachers at our girls’ school. Through co-laborers in community endeavors. Through the community itself.

Admittedly, I don’t always discern what God may be up to in my life at each duty assignment. If you’ve read any of my blog posts since 2008, read my book, or been around me in person for my whole life, you may know that my modus operandi is to freak out first and then settle into trusting God. At 47 years old, you’d think by now, I’d have it figured out that there’s no need to freak out at all, but alas. 😓

Just like I do at each duty assignment, I arrive, take it all in, implode internally a little because I am so instantly disoriented about being in a new place with all new life rhythms, only to realize a few months in that God’s got it all figured out, he’s ordered our steps, and I am free to settle down and enjoy the blessings he’s placed all around us.

I am so thankful for the way he orchestrated our life in Williamsburg. We all needed the reprieve from some of the usual army demands. We needed a breather. We needed to refocus. And it was all made possible by the love and care we felt from the people surrounding us.

02. Deepening Mission of Mentorship

Another of the formidable lessons our time in Williamsburg taught me is a deepening personal sense of a mission for mentorship. This is related to the Kindness of People, or at least an extension of it.

For years, I have experienced the blessing of special mentors in my life. There are people at least a few seasons ahead of me in faith, or profession, or motherhood, or life that have poured into me in an intentional way. I’ll get into trouble naming names here, but at least since our time in the military, I would say my friends Brenda, Kelly, Gwen, Terri, Toni, Kim, Lucy, Tricia, and Barb have impacted me by their kindness, their example, and just generally the way they live their lives for others.

Just as I have benefitted from countless hours spent with these ladies soaking up their wisdom, I too, have aimed to pour myself into relationships with those younger or not as far along in their journeys as me. I know how I feel as mentee and I want to offer than to others as mentor, as opportunities arise. Mentorship is symbiotic and personally beneficial for both parties involved.

I have known this forever, but during our time in Williamsburg, it became even more solidified in my heart and mind. I think part of that is due to the fact that we were part of such a large, vibrant church full (AND I MEAN FULL) of people much older than us. The gift we received to be surrounded by people decades ahead of us in the faith was so beautiful and life-giving.

From some of Ryan’s Men’s Bible Study buddies, to my intentional mentorship with Barb who is in her seventies, we experienced such a richness of fellowship as official and unofficial mentees.

However, it was also during these years in Williamsburg that I realized by age and experience, I, too, was becoming the older, more seasoned person in a position to give away some small amount of my own lived experience and wisdom.

My role as a CASA offered opportunities to mentor the parties involved in my case. Some of the areas of life they were struggling with were new to me, but I felt honored to be able to humbly walk through their challenges alongside them, offering encouragement.

At WCA I had two mentoring experiences. One was as the supervising teacher for a young student teacher and the other was supervising a 20 hour placement for a faculty member on our staff working toward teacher licensure. I enjoyed moving into that role and all of the responsibility that came along with it.

At our church, WCC, I became a MOPS Mentor Mom. Way back in 2005, I had been part of a MOPS group at a local Chattanooga church. I loved the community building and the intentionality that MOPS poured into its moms. It was a no-brainer when I was asked to join as a Mentor Mom.

Again, I realized that I was no longer the mom of little kids, or elementary kids, or even young teens. In what seemed like an overnight flash of time, I had become the mom of kids that weren’t really kids anymore. I had become the older, seasoned mom with experience and wisdom to offer. I was the mom nearly finished with raising kids.

I am always quick to plug in to the chaplain spouses coffee group, but it wasn’t until our last six months there that we had a senior spouse to take on organizing our group. This always feels like such wonderful, reciprocal mentorship at its best. We are a group with a wide range of life and military spouse experience and we spur one another on like iron sharpening iron. I am forever grateful for the group and personal efforts my friend Sherrey poured out during that short time.

Our time in Williamsburg felt like a small, but noticeable life shift. Ryan and I are now the people who have lived enough life to be the “seasoned” or “experienced” ones. This feeling can sometimes be a little discombobulating– like, “Wait just a minute!! I’m still young! I don’t know ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING! Who put me in charge?” 🫠

Overall, we are trying to lean into it with the right mindset. As long as I’m living, I want to position myself in places where I can receive wisdom from those ahead of me and offer it, even it’s a paltry offering, to those behind me.

01. Phase I of the Open Door Season of Life

Speaking of life shifts, lastly, the real lesson of growth and personal stretching during our time in Williamsburg came as a result of launching our firstborn child, Thomas, into his college years, having Mae wrap up her final two years of high school, and having Kate start her first two years.

While Thomas *technically* moved to Williamsburg with us, he was only there for about five minutes in the summer before he was off on his own adventure. Sending your child whom you have loved and poured every ounce of your care and energy and attention into for 18 years off to college 10 hours away was quite the adjustment.

Coming off the grief of losing my dad unexpectedly at Fort Campbell, my heart was already in a pretty precarious and tender place. Launching a child into adulthood was its own type of grief. Physically, not having Thomas in the house took some getting used to.

We all worked through it, me, his dad, his sisters, and even the pups all figured out our new routines and rhythms with one of our star players no longer at home on our team, but out in the league, on his own new team, living his life (mostly) on his own.

That’s another blog post for another day to talk about how well T has done; how he’s thrived in a million ways, but for my reflective purposes here, I’d say a huge milestone of our Fort Eustis assignment was that Five Became Four. (And at Fort Stewart Four Became Three– and at our next stop Three Will Become Two! 😳 )

Like other life transitions, I didn’t think I was quite ready for this one, but alas, it came and we have conquered it together. This is a natural part of life. Kids grow up. The deep roots you’ve helped to cultivate in their life allow them to also take flight. One of my favorite modern day thinkers and writers, Gretchen Rubin, says that she doesn’t like calling this phase of life The Empty Nest. It too negative with the word Empty there.

Instead, she has coined the phrase, The Open Door phase, which has more positive connotations. This phrase symbolizes the fact that our kids will go, but they will return again and again– just in a different context. I like that better.

Life and parenting is such a trip, man! Just when you think you have one phase figured out, poof! it’s gone and you’re left trying to stabilize yourself for the next, new one.

I’d like to take a few moments here too, to honor the meaningful ways I saw Mae and Kate grow during their time in Williamsburg, and the ways I observed it in Thomas, albeit mostly from a distanced perspective while he was at Lee his first two years.

Moving to start your junior year in a new school is no small feat. We are so proud of the way Mae jumped right in to life at Jamestown High. She was super involved in many academic and service clubs. Mae was part of several honor societies, student council, science fairs, and Scholastic Bowl. She worked incredibly hard inside and outside of the classroom. She played varsity soccer both years, tried cheerleading her senior year, and dominated as QB 1 in the citywide, Battle of the ‘Burg flag football tournament.

Mae stayed faithful to her youth group despite it being an unusually tough group to break into. Cliques at church was something she, nor we, had ever experienced. She found her people in Williamsburg mostly outside of church and enjoyed some great milestones such as turning 18, making it to the final round in senior assassin, her senior prom, and her culminating high school graduation and college decision to attend Tennessee Tech.

Kate started high school at Jamestown and flourished there in so many ways. We are exceptionally proud of the way Kate takes it all in stride. She’s easy-going and everyone around her loves her!

She was actively involved with a wonderful small group at our church, WCC and had a magnificent leader in Amanda. She had a tight-knit group of friends inside and outside of church that enriched her time there. She celebrated her 16th birthday during our time in Williamsburg, but due to clerical errors had to wait a little extra time before getting her driver’s license. Kate also continued to develop her skills in crocheting and baking, including a massive treat making session for a major class fundraiser.

Kate thrived in two seasons of indoor and outdoor track doing field events. She excelled academically in many AP courses and spent time involved in FBLA. I think she only joined so she could go to Disney with the club, but she learned a lot and had a blast with her friends. Well loved by her peers and teachers, Kate even babysat for one of her teachers on occasion. It was so fun to watch Kate thrive in leadership roles and navigate finding her fit at JHS. This time in Williamsburg was Kate’s last hoorah having a sibling at home and coming soon, her stint as an only child! (Pray for her! 🙏 )

As for Thomas, we all learned how to navigate life from afar. We are super proud with how he just jumped right into college life at Lee. He has squeezed every ounce of fun out of his first two years there. He had his first major broken bone, had a scary car accident that thankfully resulted in no injuries, and he joined a service club at Lee, Upsilon Xi, the same one my dad was part of back in the 1970s.

As a family, we figured out how to stay in contact as much as we could. There were lots of phone calls and text messages. We came to him in Cleveland and family holidays as much as we could and he came to us by car or plane as his time allowed. After the spring semester of his sophomore year he moved out of the dorm and into his first apartment. Thomas spent most of the summer in Cleveland working but came for one last visit to Williamsburg and ended his summer with a few weeks with us in Savannah.

I am just so proud of all of our kids and the many ways God showed himself to them through these formative years. They make us so proud in all they do, in their commitment to their deepening spiritual lives, their academic achievements, their hard work ethic– often being the first one to lend a hand and the last to leave until the work is done, their service to their communities, and their love for each other and our family.

The reality is that every phase of life for us has been an Open Door Phase. We come. We go. We move. We settle. We pick up. We start over. Doors close. New doors open for all of us. Our time in Williamsburg just marked this phase more emphatically when Thomas left, when Mae graduated, and when Kate started driving.

Just like the Army “goes rolling along,” so, too, does time, and family, and more milestones coming at us faster than my heart is often able to comprehend and adjust. We blinked and our two years at Fort Eustis and Williamsburg just blew right past us. It was a wonderful ride!

(Professional Image Credits: Katherine Sparks Photography)

I really loved living in Williamsburg and if it wasn’t so far from our families, it is the kind of place I could return to permanently. It was a wonderful place to call home, even if only for a few short years.

Thank you Lord for all of the blessings you sent us during that formative time in our family. Thank you Lord for the ways we saw you at work and especially the times we didn’t see you but you were working in us just the same. Thank you Lord for a season of ease and beauty; a season of resting and trusting in you!